She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
