hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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