Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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