Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
