Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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