My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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