No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
