just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
