I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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