who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize