i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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