I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My feet surprised me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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