He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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