i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
