Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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