Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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