If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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