So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
