Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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