haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
