CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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