So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
