Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
