just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
