He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
