Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Randomize
