you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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