I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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