dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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