I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
