just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
