i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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