I think I am morally bankrupt
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize