there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
