i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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