She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Damn victory sex feels great
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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