well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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