he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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