Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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