Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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