Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize