I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
is wine microwaveable?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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