i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
