Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
