why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
