I wish I only lived at night.
i just google imaged poop.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
