Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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