yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
