You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
