so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
