I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
