my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
