Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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